Gardening At 33,000 Feet
The next four weeks articles will be forged while on the road, this one, is more precisely on the fly; gardening at 33,000 feet. A window seat will afford the flying gardener a view of the greatest garden design that mankind has devised in concert with untouched natural features. Rivers that snake across the expansive earth, between mountains that lay like sleeping dragons. Craggy peaks and earthenware bowls, which melt into lush green patches as you travel east. Trees appear as unshaved stubble on the rain side of mountains, and roads are scratched into the landscape, almost inconsequential in their being there. The big picture at this altitude erases the blemishes, and one knows it would not take too many year before nature repainted the scenery if it were left to it's own devises, and the earth would return to it's pre-human state of being.
I am however in seat D of seats A-H, deep in the middle of the plane; the pilot announced the view out the left-hand side is worth viewing. I reach into the seat back pocket for the Sky Mall- here a gardener can get her gardening itch in a fever! There on page 48 is what I've wanted for a long time, I had forgotten I wanted it until I saw it again, but I still want it. Down spout chains! I know that hankering for downspout chains in the middle of the summer, in California is probably not seasonally normal, but hey… What are downspout chains? Well, they actually replace your downspout with copper chains that interlink, or a chain of copper cups that catch the rain and then spill over to the next cup until the rain reaches the ground, sparkling and twinkling. Rain chains are $59.95, the rain cups, the one I like the best is $99.95- I'll think on it for awhile more. What else is there that’s interesting-here, this is appropriate to California summers, a self-watering hanging pot, from England. This is polypropylene, and holds a reservoir of water hidden in the bottom of the pot. A Hose Hideaway Box 20"x20" hold up to 225' of hose, on a reel, inside of the box. A crank on the side winds the hose up, it looks like a wooden box, but it's probably plastic. Hard to say from the picture if it's weatherproof and sturdy. $59.00. An ingenious wasp catcher is a blown glass pear shaped bottle with an opening in the bottom. The wasp goes in and can't figure out how to get out. It would work for any flying insect with the right bait in the bottle. The folks who are inclined to let the insects go can uncork the bottle at the top and let them escape. It is only $19.95. A very pretty planter box and trellis combination in white, or green polyethylene from Holland is only 109.95, 40" wide and 56" tall. Now, here is the ultimate gardening tool. A hands free phone for active people. The photo shows a too clean young woman in shorts in the middle of a daffodil patch. It's too cold to wear shorts when the daffodils are blooming. If she were a real gardener her phone would get muddy. You still have to push a button to answer! There is a cord that attaches the phone to her headset. The first time she bends over to pull a weed the headset is going to slip and she is going to have to put her muddy fingers into her hair. This item did not convince me, I won't be placing an order on this flight. Here is a useful item- a collapsible garden bag that folds into a 2" thick circle. It is spring loaded so it pops into shape and stands there so there is no wrestling with holding the bag open while you are stuffing clippings into it. The other is an oversized garden thermometer that is easy to read from the inside of the house. Who wants to run outside to check that is really 28 or 103 degrees?
Gardening products are getting more and more ingenious; someone is always trying to build a better mousetrap. Animal deterrents are big business; there are no less than three different products to keep animals out of gardens. They are ultra-sonic in nature, and coupled with a motion sensor to active the devise. One is battery operated and is said to "upset the pest's nervous system", but doesn't bother birds or fish. Hmmm, I wonder what happens when the wind blows the plants around. We could produce some very unbalanced critters. Raccoons will be running through town with their fingers in their ears. The wild cats I know would probably harmonize.
I love all the doo-dads, birdhouses, and feeders, one that attaches to the windowsill and lets the birds feed on the other side of a two-way mirror. It refills from the inside. My cat would like that feeder; he would knock himself out trying to get through the mirrored plastic, much more torture than the ultra sound deterrent. Fountains that spill water out of a bucket that fills and then tips into the base below, fountains that allows water to cascade over a vertical rock face, fountains with angels, and swans for the tabletop. Slippers that you put on over your muddy shoes to run in to answer the phone, or turn off the stove-they do not know the sticktivity of Benicia/Vallejo soil. I hope they didn't invest too deeply in this product, it is not a California kind of thing.
What is most exciting is that MANY of the garden item offerings, we have right in the Bay Area. Garden ants, large metal ants are forged in Richmond, as well as a trellis; an iron cat sculpture on a spring is by a California artist, grape arbor and gate is outside of our door. We have the best the catalogs can offer right at home, and there is no additional shipping!
California has often been a leader in trends, and artists of garden décor are one of our strong suites. I don't which garden path I will head next week, but it will be back with my feet firmly planted on earth.
Carol de Maintenon is a member of Garden Writers of America and owner of Benicia Garden & Nursery.
